I’m frustrated, because if the writers think that Kurt got lost in Klaine… then what about Blaine? He didn’t (and still doesn’t) really exist outside of Klaine and it showed in how they wrote him inside that relationship. I thought they realized that and decided to work on it now… but if they dare make this an indipendence/whatever story for Kurt while Blaine ends up being sad, groveling and just being part of Klaine again I will… IDEK, go mad, probably. Both for Blaine’s sanity and mine.
Under read more for wank.
So my main course in the Fall (I’m taking three) is referred to by MPA alumni as the “book of the week” course, and after reading the syllabus, I can see why! Our professor emailed us early (even though classes start August 20th) so we could get started on the first book—all 485 pages of it.
There are 8 books total in the course, but they all sound fascinating:
- American Dream: Three Women, Ten Kids and a Nation’s Drive to End Welfare
- Democracy in America and Two Essays on America (written in 1831 by a French aristocrat who spent nine months traveling in America)
- Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community
- The US Constitution: And Fascinating Facts About It
- Fields Notes from a Catastrophe: Man, Nature and Climate Change
- The Essential Drucker (This seems the most boring of them all)
- That Used To Be Us: How American Fell Behind in the World It Invented, and How We Can Come Back
- Mastering Public Administration: From Max Weber to Dwight Waldo (Second most boring, I’d guess)
At the end of the class, I get to prepare a paper (for a fake Meet the Press interview), identifying the challenges facing public administration in the US today and steps that should be taken.
First class I’ve honestly looked forward to throughout my entire graduate career…
My parents arrive on Friday to celebrate mine and my dad’s birthdays with me throughout the next week.
I just checked my Research and Analysis course for this week.
- 2 chapters of reading
- 2-page intro/statement of purpose for research proposal
- 1 3-4 paragraphs discussion question on an article of choice
- 8-page midterm!!!!!
And that’s not including my Communications and Marketing course. Somehow, I need to get all of this done by Thursday plus go to the doctors, plus get the house cleaned, plus actually work?
Maybe I don’t need a 4.0…
+ move along
+ nothing to see here
+ I think I need to get out today and just stop thinking for a while
It’s like when you hit that point with depression when you just start wondering why you have to keep waking up—you just want to close your eyes and never have to deal again.
And when it hits that point and the people you think might be there for you aren’t, and that just makes everything so much worse because if your friends don’t give a shit, why should you??
For the last couple of days, if not for the fact that Yodakitty has no one else, and some unexpected kindness from internet bound strangers has come my way, I’m not entirely certain I’d keep dealing.
+ and future!Blaine
+ and I'll just never get it
+ Nothing to see here if you like OOC Blaine
+ move along
I’m just going to word vomit what I can’t get past from Kurt and Blaine’s discussion in Kurt’s room last night, the things that I keep coming back to that aren’t letting me feel at all comfortable with how the episode ended with them being happy and being honest and everything being all right.
Because there’s still this tight clenching in my stomach over it, and I keep wanting to cry, and I can’t do anything but think about it and worry over it. I’ve spent most of the day telling myself it’s the writers just throwing things into the ring to make the conversation messy but dammit, I cannot reason it out in my mind and I need someone smarter and clearer and wiser and all of that stuff to do it for me.